The Heart Wants What It Wants
by iloveme5895
Summary: Scott and Derek are in the middle of a fight. Scott threatens to leave, but can he really do that? Rated T for Boy/boy content. Derek/Scott. Smutty/drama oneshot


An: This is a short one shot Derek/Scott based. The song 'the heart wants what it wants' by Selena Gomez inspired this story. Enjoy.

 _This is a modern fairytale_

 _no happy endings_

 _no wind in our sails,_

 _But I can't imagine_

 _a life without_

 _breathless moments_

 _breaking me down. -_ Selena Gomez

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The Heart wants what it wants

There is a moment in every love that requires a choice. It's a choice that has always there in the back of my mind. It's never lingered like this before. It's screaming to make a choice. It's in the air around us as we stand in complete silence. We don't speak; I'm afraid. In this moment I have to make the decision.

He's everything I've ever wanted; he's everything I've told myself I would need. He's a protector, my protector. He's stood by my, and I him.

There's something else about him that I can't escape. For the life on me, I can't figure it out what that is.

Is it those eyes? His eyes always seem to pierce though me, and see everything I try to hide. Is it his lips? His lips are so rough and passionate when we kiss. Is it his hands? His hands which can change from being rough and hard to tender when they touch my skin.

Maybe it's all of that; maybe it's none of that? When I'm around him my mind doesn't work the same. His scent intoxicates me. I feel as though we are in a dream; instinctual and fluid like. Even right now, I can feel my body wanting to give in to him. I want him to hold me and make all the bad feelings go away. Just like he always does.

I can't let him do that though. I'm hurt. He hurt me. Then the pain of betrayal surfaces again. Its gut wrenching, and makes me feel like throwing up.

I take a step back and look at him. "How could you do this?" I ask while searching his face. "I've told you I'm yours there was no need to act this way."

He huffs, but I know what that means by now. He's frustrated and doesn't agree with me at all. I've heard that noise so many times before. "I didn't hurt him."

"No, you scared my best friend. He's a friend, always has been and always will be. You accept that or…" I didn't want to finish that sentence. The thought of doing what I was going to say is too hard. The thought of that feeling is deafening even now.

"Or what Scott; what will you do?" He is challenging me. This battle that started so long ago still goes on today.

"Derek, please don't make me say it." I beg. I can feel my world start to shake at the thought of those words. Once the words leave my lips it's like a contract I have to follow through on. I don't think I'm able to do that.

"Say it Scott, I will not have you threaten this all the time. If you want to leave then leave." Derek is angry. I can see it in the way he is holding himself. He is trying to act like nothing is affecting him. If I left him right now, we both know how he would crumble.

How I would crumble too.

"I don't want to leave. I want you, I love you." I say with tears starting to build up in my eyes. The tension in the room is heavy. The emotions we are feeling seem to pour out into the room. I can feel it against my skin; I can feel in inside me as I breathe.

"Apparently you don't Scott. When I do something wrong this is what you go to." Derek looks me straight in the eyes without looking away. I slowly start to back up against the wall. His intensity can be scary. "That or you're not what I want, that you aren't good enough for me. I'm sick of hearing this shit." He growled.

"I feel like I'm not what you want sometimes." I can't help but feel this way. "Maybe you just want to be with someone better."

"You don't think I feel that way too Scott. I feel like your second choice."

"Not this again." I can't take it; he always brings her up. Even now when she can't even interfere with us anymore. "Allison can't be in our relationship anymore. She's gone Derek. She's never coming back."

"That doesn't stop the pain Scott." Derek's face-hardened as he spoke, "You choose her first; I will always have that weight against me."

I've heard this so many times. In the past I've always assured him that I love him, but now I can't do that. I'm so angry so mad that I no longer have a filter to stop the words from coming out. "Stop comparing yourself to her. You two are completely different. She was sweet and affectionate, but she's not you. I can be myself with you, without fear of hurting you or it being too much. You take everything I throw at you, and you throw it back at me." I was crying, I could feel the tears going down my face.

Derek's face softened as I yelled and cried out at him. My body was shaking from all the emotions. I could feel myself breaking under all the pressure. Words came out of my mouth that I would not dare say if I wasn't angry.

Derek's hands reached out to touch me, and I sank into his body. I sank into the comfort that only he can provide me. He wrapped his arm around me and slowly brought us down to the floor. He sat me in his lap while I cried into his neck.

Derek held me. His body was comfort and sanity. Even in moments when I hated him, and wanting nothing to do with him. We both knew that was a lie though. With all my anger and all my threats I could never leave him. He softly rocked me until I calmed down. "What are we doing?" I finally asked after ten minutes of long silence.

"I don't know." He said back. I could feel the truth in those words. We have never been defined. He's been my escape from the crazy world around me. Yet I denied any and all feelings, and forced to look at this like an arrangement.

It started when we met. I was afraid of him. I thought he was evil. All the signs pointed in that direction at that time, and I told myself that he wasn't supposed to be trusted.

I didn't know anything about what I became. Overnight I changed from a normal teenager to a werewolf.

The longer I stayed around Derek and got to know him, I learned he wasn't evil. He was misunderstood in his attempts to help others including myself. His heart, for the most part, stayed in the right place.

Yea we argued at times, and there are times where I fought him. There were times were he fought me. The times I fought the pack, refusing to be apart of a family.

I realized I never feared him. I feared the family, the pack, that he wanted me to be apart of. I spent most of my life in broken family. My dad took off, and I blamed myself.

Deep down I was afraid. If I became apart of the pack, it would break just like my family did.

Derek still tried to get me; he still stood up with me, and for me. Even when I hurt him, he stood by me. I eventually got used to having him there, even if at the time I refused to admit it. He was the one who helped me and helped me when no one else really could.

The longer we stayed around each other, the more this feeling came to me. There was warmth that consumed me whenever we were close to each other. I felt it throughout my body, especially in… well a very private area. I tried to ignore it. Derek stayed far away from me. I didn't understand why, and at the time I didn't care. I was confused and embarrassed by my body's reaction. Other members of the pack also noticed; Isaac joked about it for weeks.

That was when the pain started. The burning when he was near turned to an emptiness when he was gone I was like an alcoholic without a drink. I would mentally beg for Derek to come close to me, to stop by anything for that feeling to come back again.

I've never understood it. After a few weeks of pain of trying to hide it, I confronted him. It started off with me trying to figure out what was going on but somewhere along the way the warm feeling came back to my body. Derek's attitude changed, he told me to leave. I refused. I've always been known to be stubborn.

Derek warned me that he wouldn't be able to hold himself back. I didn't know what that meant, but a few moments later I sure did. He quickly captured my face and kissed me. That kiss erupted a lust within me that I never knew existed. I guess that's where all this began, a kiss.

After that it was sexual between us. I never accepted the feelings, and tried to push them away the best I could. I was with him because of necessity. I was lying to myself though. Derek noticed, but he never said anything. He gets jealous of other men around me, even other pack members. We fight, and it's because I can never admit that we are matted.

"What are we going to do?" I asked afraid of the answer.

"I'll apologize to Stiles." Derek rubs his face against my hair. It feels so natural and sweet. It's right. That's why I can't help but come back to him. He is the only thing in the world that feels normal, even when I know we're not.

"That isn't what I meant, Derek." I sigh back. "But thank you that would help." I admit. Stiles would probably be pissed for a while. Derek was… well Derek and very overprotective at times.

"Scott," Derek starts to rub my back with his hands. I melt into him and close my eyes. "You have to make a choice."

"What do you mean?" I ask as I rub myself against his body. Everything felt so right; I want to be like this forever. The warmth radiating off his body makes me feel at ease.

"Right now you have to choose to always fight for us, and our relationship or leave." Wow, those words hit me like a ton of bricks. I have the power to leave or stay. I've always known this, and maybe kept it as my way out. If things don't work out I know I can run for the hills. If I didn't admit we are in a relationship then we aren't. Right now though, how can I tell him any different.

It does scare me. I have to make the decision now. "What? How can I know what the future brings?"

"You don't. That's the beauty of it Scott." He moved his hands to my head and pulled me back from his body. He angles my face so that I am looking right into his eyes. "The only way this relationship is going to work is if we choose to fight everyday for our relationship. If we both don't do that, then we won't make it."

Tears start to collect in my eyes. I try to hold them back. I'm strong; I know that about myself. There isn't any reason to cry. Derek is speaking the truth. My emotions are just all over the place.

Derek looked saddened for a moment as though he knew all my thoughts and emotions.

This is a side affect of werewolf relationships.

When I was with Allison I never had this much of an emotional attachment. After being with Derek, it was a different story. I feel things I never knew I could feel. Without this man in my life, I don't think I have any reason for being in this life anymore. I know losing him, would be the hardest thing of my life, and I fear that pain.

The way I feel about Derek is was deeper and more meaningful then any other attachment I had. Call me a sap, but he has become a part of me. "I can't do that Derek." I sat up and looked at the older man straight in the eyes, "You have become my world. I don't think I can make it without you."

"Are you sure Scott?" Derek looks at me with intensity in his eyes. "If we keep this up, then we might be mated soon."

There was that word, mated. I knew that we were. Deep down it's been nagging at me since the beginning. I know it has been the same with him as well.

"Derek, I know you know." I say back as I look at him. The thought of not being with him destroys me. If that's not what being mated is, then I don't know what I could be. "I…I love you Derek." I finally say the words that have been eating at me for months. Every time I saw him those words threaten to escape, but I held them back. At this point it is the only thing holding me back, the only thing that halted the rest of our relationship.

"I love you too," Derek says it back calmly, but I could feel the emotions behind it. Derek wasn't a man to say anything without meaning it. I could tell with how he said it that it's been eating him up as well. He was waiting for me to be ready, and right now I have to be. I can't risk losing him. "Does this mean you want to be with me, even when I mess up."

"Yes." I nod my head with a soft smile on my face.

"No more of this I'm leaving crap. I can't take it when you say that." Derek wraps his arms around me again and pushes me towards him for a kiss. "You are my everything." He says as he pulls away from my lips for a moment.

"You mean the world to me." I say back as I melt into a kiss that can only be described as us. This doesn't mean we won't fight. This doesn't mean that everything will always be perfect between us. This means no mater what happens, we promise to fight to stay together. It's all we can do.

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An: hope you al enjoyed. It's short and sweet. : ) took inspiration from actual relationship fights (we all have them) and music from Selena Gomez. Tell me what you think!

Thanks again,

iloveme5895


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